I'll Wait. - The Jewel Chronicles

I am impatient.

I’ve got things to do, places to go and not a minute to spare.

It almost feels like the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland is my personal assistant, constantly behind me uttering, “hurry, hurry, mustn’t be late.”

I’ve got goals, I’ve got objectives and I have a strict timeline.

And guess what?

Nothing in my life has gone according to that timeline. Oh, the immeasurable tears, frustration and angst that I’ve felt over not having my life arranged in the picture-perfect frame that I imagined during childhood. I want the best in life. I am competent and capable, and God said that I could have it.

So why isn’t it happening?

How many people have felt this way? As Christians, we know that God is working for our good, that he wants the best for us. If that’s the case, why do some of us feel so behind and like we’re missing out? The best is way over there, and I am miles and miles away.

Why is it so far away? Why can’t we get to it?

It hit me smack in the face that it’s because we’re measuring “best” against our standards. God wants the best for us, yes, but that doesn’t mean our summation of best.

It means HIS.

We all have a picture in our minds of what our lives should be. God, however, knows what our lives can be. I mean exceedingly and abundantly can be. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. He can put things together that we never even thought were possible. He sees colors that we’ve never seen, connections that we’ve never fathomed. Our minds have limits. What limits does God have? Here’s a hint, in case you’re unsure: None.

So, why set the barometer for your best life against your limited mind? I want what HE has for me and I don’t want to try to influence it anyway. Lord throw your weight around. You can feel free to show out in my life. I am happy to step back and say, “you got it.”

It’s not easy. It’s super scary and I struggle with waiting every day. I get upset. I feel unlovable. It feels like there’s no way that my life is ever going to come together, and I just want to scream. But then I think….